I recently was chatting to someone I just became acquainted
with, and naturally the conversation steered towards him asking if I seeing
someone, and confidently said I was not. He seemed strangely taken aback by
both my tone and reply. He swiftly moved on to recommend “aides” to assist the
state I was in.
A few days later I recalled the conversation; now I should
warn you, I’m a slow reactor. I take in information and my brain processes it
at its own pace then I analyse and evaluate
the info. I got to thinking, dude’s
reaction to my marital status was almost
as if I told him I had a curable disease which I was practically responsible
for. Instead of putting the guy in his place I thought I’d put my opinion out
there and see how thoughts on relationship statuses differ.
In my humble opinion being single is not a disease, and it
does not automatically mean you are lonely, just as much as being in a relationship
is the not necessarily solution to
loneliness and it certainly does not guarantee happiness.
Being in a relationship is something I used to glamorise as
a teen because everything in life and society always gears towards marriage
(fairytales, parents etc) and there’s nothing wrong with that however; dare you
be single at a certain age it’s almost as though you’re committing a cardinal
sin or there’s something wrong with you. Cue the not so subtle hints about
settling down and side eyes from married family members and friends.
Now in my late twenties (geese Louise I’m getting old) I
find that I’m quite liking not being in a relationship at the moment. I get to
exercise my spontaneity without having to ‘check in’, I have time to invest in
my family, friendships, career, my spiritual life and figure out what kind of
man I want to eventually end up with (and make sure I’m a good woman a man
would want too).
After being in a messed
up relationship, a rollercoaster emotional one and another that was doomed to
fail from the onset, I’ve decided to give myself a shot at being happy without
a partner, finding happiness on my terms without placing that burden and
responsibility on another soul.
But do I have to live with the jibes of not having a
boyfriend or husband yet? Why can’t we look at a situation wholly before making
clueless judgements, jumping to conclusions and offering futile advice? What is
so hard about respecting people’s choices? What do you think?
